My mom is going through a flare up again… Which means she is back to how she use to be a few years ago.
and losing weight
Its terrifying… because this time I’m old enough to understand what REALLY going on with her.
I’m scared for her.
I will lay my life down for my mom.
I once told my friends parents something that I have learn since my mom started getting sick.
I can’t afford to give like drink crazy, go out super late, not care about curfew. Not because I can’t afford or because its wrong because there isn’t, but because I rather spend time taking care of things at home, making sure my grandparents have food, making sure my mom naps at lest twice a day because she get THAT TIRED, mine you; all while trying to understand everything in school and juggle church somewhere in there, than waste my time caring about what club or friends I want to meet up with too drink. I cant afford to lose my mom this early on in my life.
I CHOOSE THIS.
No religion chose this for me, nor my mom, I chose to grow up and take life for what it is and make sure that MY house is stable now.
Yeah sometimes I slip up, I am so far beyond this , yeah, I yell at my mom, I say mean things to my amazing sisters, I close my self off from my boyfriend and best friend.
But I make sure they know I’m sorry because I love them more than anything.
and writing this out makes me realized HOW BLESSED I AM.